After junior high, I had no desire whatsoever to see most of my classmates again. I went into homeschooling for the next 2 years. That was the best thing for me. I made all new friends, got in with a completely different group of people, my grades shot sky-high (97% overall average in grade 10), and my confidence grew alot. After those 2 years, I decided to go back to a regular high school. By that time I had my driver's liscence and my Dad got me a car, so I drove to the town north of us for high-school rather than the one to the south (where most kids from my home town end up). They were not certain how my homeschooling program would mesh with public school, so I ended up stuck back in grade 11 in most courses. My homeschooling program was very advanced in English, so they put me right in English 30. That was a breeze. In fact, I was so lazy in that class, I did almost zero homework. I went into the final exam with a 60% average... got 95% on the final and still ended up with honors for the course.
I think I was 14 (maybe 15) when I met my best girl friend. For the purposes of this blog, let's call her Jackie. (I know, not very inventive, but I'll edit this later when I come up with something better.) I had been praying for a friend, just one true close friend, for a few weeks. A mutual friend of ours invited both of us on a ski trip with her church's youth group. She convinced Jackie and I to go up to the top of the big hill, where she promptly abandoned us. Neither Jackie or I could ski at all. We were bunny-hillers. So Jackie and I became friends very, very quickly as we tried not to kill ourselves getting down this hill. It's amazing how quickly perilous circumstances will bond two people together. A week later we had our first phone conversation... which lasted over 2 hours. We've been friends ever since. She knows me so well that all I have to say is "hi" and she knows immediately if I've had a bad day or not. Now that is rare to find in a friend. She is an absolute gift from God and there have been days that I do not know how I could have gotten through without her support.
Let's skip ahead again (yes, I know, I keep going back and forth, that's just the way my brain works, deal with it). I was 18 years old, out of high school, taking a year to work supposedly to save up for college, but I didn't end up saving a penny. I run into a guy who had been an acquaintance in junior high. He was a grade or 2 behind me, I think I'm about a year and a half older than him. For some reason, and I have a sneaking suspicion that it was because of a particularly bad experience with one older guy, I started liking the idea of younger men. Bunny trail. Anyways, he asked if I minded if he came over to visit. I didn't mind at all. He'd always show up unannounced, once or twice a week, and we'd hang out, play chess, go for walks, talk. I won every single game of chess we ever played. I am pretty sure he let me win, because I am really not that good at chess. I knew he liked me the whole time, I just wasn't so sure about him. He had some very, very different views on God. Kinda invented his own religion that seemed to be a mix of Catholic tradition, Buddhism, and a few other influences.
My 19th birthday came around, and I was sick. I had a nasty cold, sore throat, stomach ache, runny nose, the works. Needless to say, I was not feeling attractive in the slightest. He came over, by surprise again, with a few movies, some ginger ale, throat lozenges... We watched movies till the wee hours of the morning. (side note, forgive me for saying this hon, but it's the truth, he was a much better kisser than you, and to this day that was the best back massage I've ever received.)
The entire time, cuddling and the works, there was a war going on in my heart. I knew for a fact that he was not the man God wanted for me, but oh how I tried to fight Him on that one. I didn't sleep that night, or the next night, or the one after that. Arguing with God is not a smart idea. He always wins. A total of 4 hours of sleep over those 3 days was all I got. Until I finally let go of my will and my stubbornness and decided to obey what I knew God was telling me to do. I had to let him go, or never sleep well again and I was freaking exhausted. Being the shy type, I was scared to bits to talk to him about this in person. I wimped out and wrote him a letter instead. I've only seen him once since then, and that was after I was already engaged to my husband. I often wonder how he's doing though. I don't believe that one ever truly stops caring about people that were a part of their lives.
Let's skip ahead again (yes, I know, I keep going back and forth, that's just the way my brain works, deal with it). I was 18 years old, out of high school, taking a year to work supposedly to save up for college, but I didn't end up saving a penny. I run into a guy who had been an acquaintance in junior high. He was a grade or 2 behind me, I think I'm about a year and a half older than him. For some reason, and I have a sneaking suspicion that it was because of a particularly bad experience with one older guy, I started liking the idea of younger men. Bunny trail. Anyways, he asked if I minded if he came over to visit. I didn't mind at all. He'd always show up unannounced, once or twice a week, and we'd hang out, play chess, go for walks, talk. I won every single game of chess we ever played. I am pretty sure he let me win, because I am really not that good at chess. I knew he liked me the whole time, I just wasn't so sure about him. He had some very, very different views on God. Kinda invented his own religion that seemed to be a mix of Catholic tradition, Buddhism, and a few other influences.
My 19th birthday came around, and I was sick. I had a nasty cold, sore throat, stomach ache, runny nose, the works. Needless to say, I was not feeling attractive in the slightest. He came over, by surprise again, with a few movies, some ginger ale, throat lozenges... We watched movies till the wee hours of the morning. (side note, forgive me for saying this hon, but it's the truth, he was a much better kisser than you, and to this day that was the best back massage I've ever received.)
The entire time, cuddling and the works, there was a war going on in my heart. I knew for a fact that he was not the man God wanted for me, but oh how I tried to fight Him on that one. I didn't sleep that night, or the next night, or the one after that. Arguing with God is not a smart idea. He always wins. A total of 4 hours of sleep over those 3 days was all I got. Until I finally let go of my will and my stubbornness and decided to obey what I knew God was telling me to do. I had to let him go, or never sleep well again and I was freaking exhausted. Being the shy type, I was scared to bits to talk to him about this in person. I wimped out and wrote him a letter instead. I've only seen him once since then, and that was after I was already engaged to my husband. I often wonder how he's doing though. I don't believe that one ever truly stops caring about people that were a part of their lives.
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