The Meditation of My Heart

Here I sit at the end of this day, pondering all that has come my way
All that I have left behind, and all that waits on the other side of this night
I trust in the One who has never let me down
For the dreams that stir in this once broken soul
I trust that He is in control
He knows, He loves, He holds my very heart

As I fight again to enter in and rest my head upon His chest
I close out all noise, all other voices but the One
And I rest, at peace
Knowing that He accomplished it all.

The debt I owed, I could not pay
Far too heavy a burden to bear
No amount of "good deeds" could ever cover over
My guilt, my shame

And even now I know
Every time I come into His presence
It is not by my strength I stand
Not by my goodness I am freed
Not by my struggle that I receive
His love, His peace, His very presence alive in me

No, it has nothing to do with me

It is a testimony
To His great grace
That the One who is the Judge
Also took my place
In righteousness and justice
He declared me guilty
In love and mercy
He served my sentence

My burden is gone
My guilt forgiven
My shame hidden forever
Covered by the cloak of His love
Erased from the memory of God

I have been given a precious gift
The ability to come before the throne of God Almighty
Without fear of judgement or condemnation
Yet with great respect
For the One who gave His life for me
Is the very One who sits on the throne of heaven
And His presence is here with me even now
His Spirit surrounds me

The presence of God is... unlike anything on earth, yet somehow familiar
How do I describe that which is indescribable?
like the first warm spring day after a long cold winter
like being wrapped in a blanket made out of peace and woven with love
so aware of my own unworthiness to stand before You
yet I am welcomed

I tap into the power that created the universe
I do not control it, yet there is no fear
I am aware that His presence is the very thing
That holds the stars in their place
And He holds me

My Jesus, I rest in Your arms
I know that when I die and come home to You
It will be exactly that
I will be coming home
There will be no fear, I know my destination is sure
Only the sweet bliss of seeing Your face for the first time
But not yet.
There is so much I want to do here

So I live in constant dichotomy
The feeling of being on a journey through a foreign land
Enjoying the journey, yet longing for home at the same time

I know my future is in Your hands
There will be trials, there will be pain
There will be tests to pass and battles to fight and obstacles to overcome
Yet You are with me through it all and Your presence is my constant companion
I will not fail, because You can not fail
And my God is with me every moment, every minute
I am a temple of the Holy Spirit, a carrier of the glory of God, a vessel of honor for His purpose
Chosen from among my generation, set apart for a holy cause
I will never give up, I will never lay aside the purpose for which I was born into this world

To know Him, and make Him known
I live to bring glory to my King


"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14